The Anti-Awards
There is no worst city. There are only cities magnificently bad at one specific thing — and we can prove it. Every award below is the true extreme of a real ranking, measured from open data. The deadpan is that the evidence is real.
Umbrella days per year.
Public holidays per year. The city with the most reasons.
The cities with the most ways to leave them.
Days per year the air is doing most of the sweating for you.
Nights per year that stay at 25 °C or above.
Where the sun clocks off before you do.
The ground has opinions, measured per decade.
Fewest nonstop escapes under three hours. Paradise, door mostly shut.
Airports that sleep through January.
The quietest food scenes, by cuisines on offer.
All cities, measured by their distance from the centre of the world.
The cities that yawn first.
On the seventh day, everything rested.
Siesta as a competitive event.
Where espresso before eight is a rumour.
The share of your escape routes that leave the country.
Not an average. Not a rate. Just the count.
Volcanoes within 100 km. Not one — all of them.
How far you would have to walk to stand on one.
Rain is quoted per year. Here it is quoted per lifetime.
Megabits per second is a number. Waiting is an experience.
Kitchens that turn back into pumpkins on the stroke of midnight.
Cities that work fewer hours than you do.
Months that are neither mild nor dry.